I felt anxious when I logged off Instagram yesterday.

If you follow a lot of coaches and personal development peeps like I do, you probably felt the same thing. The first week of January is all about New Years Resolutions: new self improvement projects, growth initiatives and whole-person makeovers. There’s an underlying stress to it.

Rushing. Forcing. Pushing. Striving.

The truth is, we’re still at the beginning of winter. This isn’t the season for big action. It’s the season for hibernation and rest. It’s the time of year for planting seeds in the fertile dark.

New Years Resolutions seldom last. I think it’s because they are made from a hasty impulse to suddenly fix everything that’s wrong with us. Inherently there’s an underlying belief that we need fixing.

The truth is, you are perfect just the way you are. You are whole and complete already. You are not broken. You are not a project to be fixed.

AND…

There is an opportunity in the transition from one year to another. This is a moment of INTENTION.

• Intentionally leaving behind what no longer serves.

• Intentionally closing the chapter on what has passed.

• Intentionally looking forward to a new vision.

• Intentionally calling in what you want to create next.

I see the New Year like a fresh blanket of white snow over our lives. It covers the old tracks and mud puddles. It’s a clean, blank slate. A fresh start. A new beginning.

One of my favorite meditation teachers, Jack Kornfield, always says: we can begin again in any moment.

That’s the invitation of the New Year. To give ourselves permission to begin again. It’s a hard reset: like restarting your smartphone to clear out bugs.

However, we don’t start back at zero.

We stand on the foundation of everything that came before. The pain of the past is composted into fertilizer. A lifetime of knowledge, wisdom, strength and resilience serves as deep roots. The dark mystery of winter serves as a safe cocoon for new seeds to germinate. We set forth our intentions, taking the best from the past and leaving behind the rest.

We step forward into the sunrise lighter than before. There’s nothing to DO yet. That will come in spring. For now, it’s an internal revolution that comes with the New Year. Harvesting of all the treasures we’ve learned in the past year and re-focusing on what matters most: our intention, desire, longing, and vision.

New Years Resolutions are about fixing a broken self.

New Years Revolutions are about the internal re-alignment back to purpose, vision, intention and desire.

Nothing needs to change on the outside yet. You’re still in the warm den of hibernation. The transformation is happening inside. Universal intelligence is taking care of that. Your cells know exactly how to renew themselves in this season of rest. You’re already growing. You don’t have to make any effort. Just soften into the natural process and trust the season you’re in.

Productivity and action will come in the spring. For now, melt into the New Years Revolution happening in your soul. Meditate on your intentions. Write about your desires. Reflect on what matters most to you. Nourish yourself deeply.

You’re right where you’re meant to be.

Happy 2024 my loves.

2023 was one of the most transformative years of my life. Here’s the story in three parts: beginning, middle, and end.

THE BEGINNING

In January of this year, I was hanging on by a thread. My mental and physical health were at an all time low, and I was running out of hope that I could ever fully recover.

My day-to-day existence was chronic pain. I woke up and went to bed every night with excruciating joint pain that took me out of all my favorite physical activities. Some days I struggled to even lift my coffee mug.

I was in the middle of an intensive treatment for PTSD, which had altered my reality since a traumatic event in 2019. My main symptoms were depression, anxiety, insomnia, nightmares, and flashbacks which severely affected my ability to work and live.

I felt like I was at rock bottom, until…

On March 5, three days before my birthday, my partner of 1.5 years pulled the plug on our relationship. I cried my way through my 37th birthday. This was the bottom of the bottom. I had lost my health, my partner, and the business dreams I’d been working so hard for. I didn’t see a way out.

THE MIDDLE

I knew I had to make a dramatic change, so I committed myself to a radical healing path.

It started by calling in my team: a trusted therapist, coach, and acupuncturist to support my recovery. I dedicated myself to a rigorous treatment plan that became my new full time job. Every single day, I showed up intensely to take care of my mind and body.

The light at the end of the tunnel started to emerge.

Still, my intuition told me I needed to leave my home for a deeper healing retreat. So I booked a one month solo trip to Bali, which became the beginning of a six month sabbatical.

That’s when my real healing journey began.

Within two weeks, the chronic pain was gone. The depression and anxiety vanished. The heartbreak started to lift.

One month became two months. The tropical jungle of Indonesia breathed life into my bones. Swimming with giant sea turtles and neon colored fish enchanted my imagination. Making new friends, flying down windy roads on a scooter, and leisurely painting at outdoor cafes re-activated my life force and vitality.

Upon returning to the US, I continued my re-wilding journey in the forests and mountains of California and Mexico. And when summer hit, I returned to Encinitas for a 30-Day Ocean Dunk Challenge to release the old and call in the new.

Wildness became my medicine.

Adventure became my lifeline.

New connections - people, places, and experiences - became my resurrection.

THE END

Once my health and happiness had been restored, it was time to rebuild my life. In September, I re-dedicated myself to my coaching practice. I took a huge leap and invested in a 4-Month Mastermind with Chelsea Adair to support my transition from sabbatical to business re-launch.

Within a few weeks, I channeled a brand new Feminine Embodiment Leadership Model. I birthed a new coaching curriculum, and within a month, was already delivering it to a handful of incredible clients.

In October, I started strength training twice per week with Lauren Brooks. For the first time in almost two years, I was back to my favorite physical activities PAIN-FREE.

I transformed my physical space to carve out a creative studio fully stocked with all my painting supplies, recording equipment, and writing tools.

And though I wasn’t quite ready to get into a new relationship yet, I shared many beautiful, loving moments with amazing men who renewed my hope for what’s possible.

TAKEAWAYS

The truth is, in January of this year, I was living far out of alignment with my truth. I was giving my best energy to people, projects and activities that weren’t feeding my soul.

It took a full breaking point for me to shed all that wasn’t authentic to my true self and fully step into the desires of my heart. My intuition guided me back to the WILD WOMAN within me. My fierce devotion to myself created a wellspring of new vitality and happiness.

Self-abandonment became exquisite self-care and self-honoring.

By December, I shifted into a whole new reality: a physical space, community, lifestyle, and business that nourish my soul.

2023 was the return to myself.

No matter how far you feel from your true heart desires, there’s hope. There’s always a way out. There’s always a way forward.

If I can create such a radical change in just one year, so can you.

With the right support and unwavering dedication to yourself, anything is possible.