I’ve been quiet online for the past 15 months. Very quiet. Not because I don’t have anything to talk about (I have more to say than ever). It’s because I’ve been reserving my energy for a very special incubation period behind closed doors. An internal journey to heaven and hell and everything in between. I’ve been writing a book.
I’m one of those people that used to say, “I’ll write a book… one day.” As a young 20-something, I thought I had all the time in the world to write my book. Surely the time wasn’t now; I needed to grow my career, support myself in the country’s most expensive city and invest in my new marriage. I needed to build a blog audience and take more writing classes and put in my 10,000 hours before I could call myself an author (or an aspiring one).
That all changed one day in August 2014 when a family member invited me to lunch to “talk about an opportunity.” The last thing I expected was for her to confront me about turning my blog into a book, and offering mentorship to get me started.
“Write a book? Now?” I almost spit up my iced tea.
“Yes, now,” she smiled from across the table. “You’re ready.”
“I don’t even know where I would start.”
“I’ll help you. Baby steps.”
And so I’ve been on this journey, one baby step at a time. I’m proud to announce that the entire book is WRITTEN and I am 80% through editing the second draft. This baby is REAL and it is HAPPENING. It’s been a wild ride of newfound energy, heart opening, self-doubt, fun, frustration, boredom and ecstasy (more on this later). In a nutshell, my life has completely changed since I committed myself to writing this book. Here’s how.
It feels like I’m coming alive again.
I never knew how much energy I’d been missing until it rushed back to me. Where I had once felt overworked and lethargic, I began feeling huge bursts of energy during my writing sessions. It’s like my body was screaming YES PLEASE, MORE PLEASE! YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT! This energy was accompanied by a sense of contentment and well being that burned right through my heart. It’s like I was falling back in step with my authentic rhythm, or like my soul was coming into healthy alignment with my actions. There were other good feelings, too:
- Feeling less scattered and anxious about the future
- Looking forward to doing something meaningful (instead of wondering what I’m supposed to be doing)
- More wholehearted focus toward one clear goal
- More excitement about what’s coming next
- More sense of “flow” and getting lost in the moment
- Deeper connection with my true self
I’m bolder in how I show up in the world.
For a couple years I’d been criticizing myself for not being more confident and self assured. I chalked it up to be a personal problem that needed years of therapy or medication or The Secret to fix. Turns out, all I needed to do was start honoring my true voice. As soon as I started incubating my little soul endeavor in private, I noticed that my outward life changed too. I’m not saying I’ve magically transformed into an extrovert or a Tony Robbins, but I’ve definitely found more empowerment and boldness to be myself. Some things I’ve noticed:
- More trust in myself and more fire to speak up
- Less pressure to find “big success” in other parts of my life
- Motivation to take care of the temple: waking up early, eating better, exercising more, drinking less
- More to offer to the people in my life
Once I step away from my morning writing session, the most important thing to me is already done, so what happens out in the world doesn’t matter so much. And that frees me up to receive more happiness and spontaneity in other parts of my life. It’s like a secret weapon that’s always with me — my sword of truth.
It seems the universe is meeting me halfway.
Passion is sticky. The more I talk about my excitement for this book, the more positive vibes come my way. At first, I worried that investing so much time in my book would suck energy from other parts of my life (especially my business). Turns out that in the year I did the least marketing and intentional outreach, I made the most money. I got my highest paying writing job this year. New clients fell in my lap, some of them from across the world. I received a raving review that kept me smiling for days. My dinner conversations with friends became more vibrant and genuine. Why? Because I have been feeling more alive and showing up more boldly in the world! And it seems that when I take a tiny step in the direction of my dreams, the universe meets me halfway.
What will happen with my book? Will a major publishing house pick it up, will people read it, will anyone like it? It doesn’t matter. I’ve already gotten back tenfold what I put into it. Every morning that I sit down to spend my hour with the book, I’m showing up for myself. I’m investing in my heart and my creative voice. I’m beating resistance and listening to that silent, steady drive inside of me: WRITE. And it feels damn good.